i received a letter today
its about THE chess event in singapore
thinking about it
i really do enjoy going for chess competitions
i really do
but i stopped
i stopped playing chess altogether
it doesnt mean much to me
its fine if i do not go
its not as if i have to defend my title or something
so its not that hard
but deep inside me
theres this agonizing want
this vehement want to go for it
and i really am not in the right frame of mind to decide anything now









people like me like books
i love books
its nice to read
appreciate enjoy and contemplate
but i have not read in a long time
a scaringly long time
i used to be able to read a novel in 3 days
and its been years since i have read one
and that irking feeling is back again
i
i saw this book
as it is it is a book
a bunch of printed paper bound together
i see it everyday
at first there is no feeling for it
then
i dont know
is it this damned desire again
or is it my heart just forcing myself to want it
i know i dont feel like i need that book
nor if i want that book
but something inside wants me to have that book
and i dont even know its title


so much for a bookworm