Was the day i cried at a funeral
i never cried at funerals
even my relatives ones
but i cried at this
yeah got an sms from my mum this morning tt my kor kor left
that night we went to the wake
and it was nice to see everyone there
went over to console auntie
and they were all speaking in hokkien
and i was struggling to comprehend everything
but by looking at their faces
i understood everything
well basically he had a heart attack and passed away
he was under tremendous stress from his job
a few days before his passing
he complained of severe heart aches
went to the docs
doc said everything was ok
came home and 2 days later he left peacefully in his sleep
so next time doc say ur ok pls slap him
we offered incense and then went over to see his coffin
before that i was already very heavyhearted
and then when i saw his face
i juz cldnt help tearing
apparently the fucking chee bye embalmer never do a good job
his face was damn dehydrated
but at least he looked peaceful
i told him to go peacefully
and cried more
and it was like
after coming out of the coffin tent
all the other mourners were like looking over
but those assholes weren't at all like looking sad or anything
and my face was damn red and wet and all
yeah for those who know me well
yes i do not indeed haf an older brother
i only have a biological younger brother
and this biological family i have
i am totally not close to them at all
whereas im closer to my godfamily
though i only see them during new years
the next one will never be the same
well you see
when i was born
i stayed at my paternal grandparents place
but my grandparents were like dying age already
though they arent dead yet
and both my parents were working
so i was like topangded at my godfamily's place
which was next door to be cared for
yeah
so the first year i was alive they cared for me everyday
untill we moved to tampines and dad got a car
but still i was sent there for daycare and at night brought home
this continued until my brother was born and a maid was hired
theres auntie uncle 3 jie jies and 2 kor kors
and they all really really really really really really loved me alot
they all seriously loved me alot
they always played with me when i was a baby
especially auntie
each night when my mom came home to bring me back next door
i wld cry
and then auntie wld hold me and i will stop
there werent any kids in their family then so i was like everyone's pet
and i love them alot too
which kinda explains why i am not close at all to my family
cos i never seriously bonded much with my mum or dad when i was young
and i love soft beds alot
cos auntie is kinda plump and always held me
and one of my jie jie is hospitalised
her health worked up after kor kors death
and she cant go send him off
hope she gets well
kinda sudden how people can just go
and we are never the same