i really cant stand my parents anymore... one more time i will really explode...
been thinking these few days... its just kinda weird... in fact its damn weird...
its like im damn happy when im in the company of pple of the stellar conglomeration 2703... provided i was ok at the start... then go mix wif them and continue getting better...
realised nowadays... and decided to think abt the real definition of friends... they just to share joy?
if i go up to u wif a sombre face... will u still be as u are? i noe we haf a tradition of suaning each other and trying to put one another down... but is it proper to continue putting one down when he's down? its damn weird... i've surpassed blowing my top... even during tt relapse... it didnt serve any purpose... i cant do so anymore
then i thought... there are others... though we dun interact tt much... but when i tok to them abt how im feeling and all... somehow i feel better... recently... i toked to one guy... at first damn uuurgh and all... then tok to him le... then suddenly felt like studying chinese... but u noe me... insomnia and all... and tt time already 1++... so awhile only and i went to bed...
at least i felt better for awhile...
but... damn weird... everyday... at least for nowadays... i come to sch tired and all... and i dun feel gd nowadays... i see u i gif u a reluctant smile... at least i bother to... but hey... if u start to suan me and all... maybe i dun show it... i cant anymore... but it hurts... especially nowadays...
but then... when i meet others... they smile back... they wave...
then more weird... if they have problems... they wld share wif me... and i will try to cheer them up when they are down... and help them in wadever way i can... ask me and i will help... anytime...
its damn weird... set me thinking... wad am i treated as? am i taken for granted? i value friendship more than any other thing... if its not worth valueing... maybe i shd gif it to others...
its like i cant be wif 2703 when im sad... its worse... maybe its because i put on too gd an act or wadever... but the fact remains... it isnt rite... i really hate my class... i really loathe coming to sch... and it sucks to put up wif the crap i get to put up wif a day... when pple cannot exercise self constraint and understanding...
its like... if u throw a punch at me... definitely i will punch u back at least 2 times... recently there was a pencil case thrown at my face... for i dunnoe wad naive reasons the thrower had... and i didnt even do anything... retribution better work...
its like im turning into more of a pessimist every day... and then today chung again... want to collect edusave form... i wan pay money... gif monitor... say dun pay first... later ask chung... then he didnt ask... then chung angry again lar... for nothing will kenna scolded again...
is tt how the world works now?
i think i noe why i have insomnia... dun think any psychologist can cure it... time... it calls for greater ponderance...
and wad a nice time to have such mood swings... this yr of all yrs... this time of all times... 28 days left to prelims... 58 days to cl o level...
time... if only i had a nice fossil watch... the chronograph gunmetal black degrade ones... with the titanium metal strap... damn nice... but farmers shd juz eat their peas...
dun even think i wld swing back... i recently had this premonition... next yr at march... everyone will come to me and flaunt their achievements... some will thank me for helping them... and i will get lousy scores and i be going to a poly... i really cant get into the mood for anything at all...
its damn weird...
listen to this story....
group of kids... always meet at playground every evening... can play many games rite? usually play 2 games... hide and seek and catching... but one of them prefers catching more strongly to the other... for a few days they say play H&S... so fine play lar... next few days also say play H&S... this kid sian le... say he go jogging instead... and subsequent days... he will without fail ask if they wld like catching for a change... and he wld end up jogging...
now this kid is a super kid... usually kids will throw tantrums and cry like a baby...
simple analogy... dun tok abt any naivite... tok abt the group of kids... do they treat this one kid as their friend? do they spare a thought for him? u mean they cant play H&S from mon til sat and play catching on sun? damn weird...
i dun hold any grudges on anyone for doing wad they do... in this instance tt is... but the thought of the reality... wads really happening... wads really signified... doesnt tt seem like a broomstick jabbed up ones ass? literally... and the broomstick cant be pulled out...
wadever it is... juz do well for ur o levels... well knowing i be happy and proud of u all... and it too doesnt matter if i can get better results and didnt or wldnt... cos my mind is prob exposed to too much radiation for tt matter to think straight nowadays...